what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
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if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
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he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
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