Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize