People in love make me want to vomit
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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