Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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