Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
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