Have you finally orgasmed yet?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize