We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize