Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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