how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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