If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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