you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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