I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
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