what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize