i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize