i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
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no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
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Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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