i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize