3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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