u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Randomize