Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
There are leaves in my underwear?
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