You surviving the open bar?
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these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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