it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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