Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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