it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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