my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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