so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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