Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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