LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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