another moral hangover. fuck.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
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I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
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I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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