I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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