Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear

(1-847): View more from Illinois

Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat

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(847): You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear (1-847): Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat http://tfl.nu/fogp

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(850): View more from Florida

come over anyways, right now, right this second

(850): View more from Florida

it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying

(561): View more from Florida

wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation

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(850): come over anyways, right now, right this second (850): it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying (561): wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation http://tfl.nu/cwsr

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(813): View more from Florida

There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it

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(813): There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it http://tfl.nu/xcmh

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(941): View more from Florida

Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to

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(941): Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to http://tfl.nu/6uk1

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(914): View more from New York

Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.

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(914): Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine. http://tfl.nu/4xx7

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.

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(919): Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk. http://tfl.nu/sxlu

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.

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(732): I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome. http://tfl.nu/zzpw

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(418): View more from Quebec

Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.

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(418): Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class. http://tfl.nu/hm5u

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.

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(704): I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying. http://tfl.nu/un4v

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(804): View more from Virginia

I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.

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(804): I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights. http://tfl.nu/u1l7

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(408): View more from California

Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.

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(408): Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities. http://tfl.nu/yskk

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.

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(920): You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day. http://tfl.nu/y8lp

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(701): View more from North Dakota

I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.

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(701): I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this. http://tfl.nu/2wr9

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(704): View more from North Carolina

So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...

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(704): So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ... http://tfl.nu/bcgx

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(952): View more from Minnesota

She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.

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(952): She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high. http://tfl.nu/dd7j

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