And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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