U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
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i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
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We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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