that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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