Moan for me like Helen Keller
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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