im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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