It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize