His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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