I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize