This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were destined to go to rehab together
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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