I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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