no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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