I showed him my bush... on skype.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
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