I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize