3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize