I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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