Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
OPIZZABONMYDICK
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize