I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize