Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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