Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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