it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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